No.

So many emotions.
Just. So. Many.

I lost a very dear friend a few days ago.
It seems like forever ago, now. The pain is still there, though.
48 hours after his death, I went from good to bad, to worse, to just plain psychotic.
I let my friends in on some of the things that were going through my mind, but nobody knows the extent of my emotions. I was spiraling out of control. How does one even do that in a day or two?
I did things I'm not proud of in that short short time. 
72 hours passed. I felt better. And then I felt worse again.
76 hours passed. I regained composure. Can't have people think I'm a moody bitch all the time.

-

I woke up without crying. It felt good. I felt well. I thought of him. I thought of what his hugs felt like. What his warm embrace did to me. How his lips tasted. 
I didn't appreciate it then. I didn't know then. Had I known, I don't know how different things would have been, but I do know that I wouldn't have pushed him away so harshly.

-

I miss you, bud.
I love you.
Forever and always.
KW.